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A Simple Transpicuous Philippic; or, You’re Not Nice

words & music by John Allee


And you destroy me with your honesty

For brutal honesty is more about brutality

Than honesty


You’re not nice

You’re not nice

To be precise

You’re just not nice

You’re very pretty

And also funny

But you’re not nice

Why would you say that my hair

Is my only handsome feature?

You’re some kind of creature

But you’re not nice


And you insult me with your comedy

Your caustic comedy is more about hostility

Than comedy


You’re not kind

You’re not kind

I’m of a mind

That you’re not kind

You’re very worldy

And good with money

But you’re not kind

Why would you find me backstage

Just to say the show was lousy?

Too Alison Krauss-y

You’re not kind


My love was based on some reality

But that reality was more about some futile sense

Of loyalty


You’re not fair

You’re not fair

You may not care

But you’re not fair

You’re very cunning

And well connected

But you’re not fair

Why would you barter my friends

And then sell me down the river?

You sure deliver

When you’re not fair

(The title of this song is a send up of the Paul Simon title "A Simple Desultory Philippic, which in itself was a send up of Dylan)

© 2007 John Allee/Portuguese Knees Music ASCAP.
Lyrics Reprinted with Permission.  All Rights Reserved.

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